Feel free to use these exercises in your own personal journal writing. You may choose to cut and paste them into your own Word document for a computer archive or print out one of these pages and keep them in your journal.

elationships ask us to face ourselves with total honesty. Creating a vital connection with someone as well as honoring the space between you is an ever-flowing dance of self-inquiry and shared vision.

Open Heartedness
by Sue Meyn

Recently, I have been doing some searching for clues as to how to better get along with a couple of tough people I have in my life---tough for me, that is. I believe that if someone is in my life that they are there to teach me something, so just cutting them off or walking away is probably not the solution.

I suppose I react so to these people because I have felt some hurt in relation to something that has been said or done by them. One part of me reaches toward my Higher Self response, to be open, loving and kind. Another part of me wants to be vindictive, revengeful and to SHOW THEM. It's an uncomfortable inner struggle.

My dilemma cannot be solved by anyone else. I must make peace with my own warring parts. I found an article by the Dalai Lama in Sunday's paper that I found helpful. I'll share a piece of it in the hopes that it will be meaningful to you as well. He is comparing verses from the Bible to principles of Buddhism.

"These two verses (James 1:19-20) encapsulate principles that are of utmost importance to a spiritual practitioner, and for that matter, any individual who aspires to express his or her basic human goodness. This emphasis on hearing as opposed to speaking teaches us the need for openheartedness. For without it, we have no room to receive the blessings and positive transformation that we might otherwise experience in our interaction with our fellow human beings."

"Open and receptive, swift to listen to others, we should be slow to speak, because speech is a powerful instrument that can be highly constructive or profoundly destructive. We are all aware how seemingly harmless speech can actually inflict deep hurt upon others."

"Therefore, the wise course is to follow the advice of one well-known Buddhist lojong text: 'When amongst many, guard your speech and alone, guard your thoughts.'"

For me, this reminds me to take the higher ground. I will also turn to my journal to say the ugly things that need to be released---maybe even on a separate piece of paper that can be destroyed. I also see work on giving and receiving forgiveness as part of my daily focus.

What about you? In what ways would it be helpful to you to listen more and speak less? How might that help you to be more openhearted? I invite you to Dialogue between your gentle and angry parts--- and that's where I am headed right now.

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