TOOLS WITH HEART NEWSLETTER
New Mothers
"I pack my journal into a fanny pack and walk to the beach from my home. When there, I sit at the water's edge and let the uniqueness of the day take off in my journal. It is always different but inevitably soothing." ~ Sandra
"I own a little piece of property on Lake Erie outside of Cleveland. There's a small cliff with stairs going down to rocks used as a breakwater. When the weather is nice, it is the most heavenly place to journal." ~ Barbara
"In one childhood house, my journaling place was on the floor by a window at the end of an unused upstairs hallway. It was sweltering hot in the summer and finger-numbing cold in the winter but it was the one place no one else went. There was even a loose floor board that no one knew about and I would hide my journal in the space beneath it." ~ Cindy
Excerpts from "Creating Space" entries–March Tools With Heart Newsletter. Thank you for your entries!
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IN THIS ISSUE:
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JOURNAL TO AN UNBORN CHILD
On May 23rd, 2004, my first grandchild, Olivia Frances Ann was born to my daughter, Bonnie and her husband, Dan. As soon as I heard this child was coming, I felt the urge to paint our family history, albeit my own brush or in this case, pen and journal. I intuitively wrote to a girl introducing her mom, two aunts, great-grandmothers, grandfathers and me, her grandmother. It was as if, through the sheer act of heart-to-heart journal writing, fifty years of wisdom could be passed on to her at will, or if knowing our lessons could spare her from her own. One day, Olivia might open the pages of this journal, but more importantly, I now have a collection of family stories to tell and re-tell her in person! There are so many, not the least of which is how important her long-awaited arrival was to this family.
Linda Walker, contributor to Personal Journaling magazine agrees that an ideal time to start writing a journal of your child's life is the day your pregnancy is confirmed or when you take your first steps to begin adoption proceedings. Her journals sit on the bookshelves in her family room. They are available any time her children wish to pick them up, though they seldom do. "Perhaps my children won't appreciate the journals fully until they become parents. In any event, the books provide them with a sense of their history. Captured on the pages is the love I've felt for them, the encouragement I've tried to provide, and the mistakes I've made along the way. By taking a few minutes to write in a journal, you are giving your children the priceless gift of getting to know you in a very special way."
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REFLECTIONS FOR NEW MOTHERS
Bonnie yearned to be a mom, suffered the loss of two mid-term babies and prayed to redefine what motherhood would mean for her. Very soon afterward, Olivia arrived on the scene, and Bonnie is a first-time mom at 41. And so begins the next generation of our family where mother and child look at the world with new emotions, thoughts and dreams. Bonnie is now using the journal we created four years ago, Reflections For New Mothers. This wonderful journal offers a look at the spirit of motherhood expressed through care-taking and adopting others, nurturing animals, creating art, music and poetry, to birthing your own children.
"In today's world, we are so fortunate to have countless resources and information readily available to us on any given subject. During my pregnancy, I took advantage of as many of them as I possibly could in order to prepare for the birth of my new baby. By the time the baby came, I was ready–I knew it all! Two years later and with some experience, I realized that some of the most important things I learned never read in any of the books, magazines and articles I read. The most important thing I can share with any new mom is to trust your instincts. Continue to listen to your body, just like when you were pregnant." ~ Rocio
Permission to "Not Know"
Write yourself a formal permission slip to not know what to do, what your baby needs, why you feel the way you do. Just not know for one full day. Any time you feel the urgency to act, to make a decision, to participate, remember that today is the day to NOT. Enjoy it. It will give you the room to know tomorrow.
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JOURNALS FOR TWO
Needless to say, I see the power of journal writing – the power of words – words in thoughts, words in prayers and words in letters. Journal keeping is correspondence, conveying ideas between two parties, most often parts of ourselves. Someone said, "How can I know what I'm thinking, until I read what I write?" I know that when I am struggling with a decision or a confusing issue, if I write out the question, another part of myself is willing to offer a solution. It's no wonder journaling is a chosen method of personal growth.
A journal for two is an interactive journal between two people and can be taken from many formats from audiotapes to emails, mailed letters to scrapbooks. There is always a purpose, whether to communicate things difficult to express verbally or to create a family legacy.
Keeping an interactive journal is easy to begin. It can be kept between spouses, friends, a parent and child, and . . . grandchild and grandparent. You can be thousands of miles away or sitting right beside one another. You can start by asking a question to gain insight into what makes your writing partner the person they are or ask them to tell you a family story. Each letter or journal entry answers a question and asks another. An interactive journal can also be a place to vent frustrations and struggles with each other. Eventually the harsh words will soften, and the conflicts will be resolved.
The journal or letters can be mailed, kept on a mutual Web site, or left in a place that will be found by your partner. I even heard about a divorced dad who wrote to his daughters on napkins placed in their school lunches. Many years later when one of them graduated from college, she presented her dad with a box of 150 napkins she'd saved over the years and suggested he write a book based on the writings. Taking his daughter's advice, Courtney Garton penned Napkins–Lunch Bag Notes from Dad (Wharton).
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THE ISSUE OF PRIVACY
"And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Anais Nin
A common concern many people have about journal keeping is the issue of privacy. Just thinking about opening that book is probably more frightening to you than it is to anyone who might read it. I can tell you that the more you open up, the less concern you will have about it. There are always clever ways to hide your writing, and I might be able to come up with a few, but it's more important to begin than to have it as a reason not to journal. You have to burn up your most incendiary pages – and you can use our Rage Pages to do that – at least get the words out. You could also take those really sensitive pages out of your book and file them somewhere else until the coast is clearer.
Henriette Anne Klauser, former columnist to Personal Journaling, says "No one has a right to read your journal without your permission, and if they do so, they read at their own risk. You are not responsible for their response." "That was not meant for your eyes," is how one woman put it when her boyfriend read her journal. And then she refused to discuss it.
Trust itself is a topic worth writing about. Ask yourself how you would handle it if someone read your journal? Could the confrontation be difficult but with a positive outcome? Would it help you deepen a relationship, or would it be divisive? I have written something personal about my mate, closed the book and blessed it, saying that this is meant for my eyes only, but should it be read, may it be for the highest good.
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A REFILL FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
So, this is a good question for those of you who would like an Autumn Refill for your journal:
Has someone read your private journal, and how has it affected your relationship and/or your journaling?
Send your comments to: felice@toolswithheart.com
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NEW WEB SITE FEATURES
We have upgraded our Web site to make your browsing and shopping much more convenient and fun. There is a new search tool to help you find products quickly.
You will find a list of best-selling products along the left side of the page as well as as "Specials" page to view all discounted products on sale.
You can "create an account" that allows you to shop faster, save an unfinished order to come back to later, check the status of a pending order and keep track of past purchases.
You can also rate and write reviews of our products. And the "Tell a friend" feature allows you to easily forward a product page directly to a friend.
As always, thank you for reading our newsletter, browsing the Tools With Heart Web site, and for taking the time to give us your comments and a piece of your heart when you submit your journal entries.
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GIFTS
We have some brand new items and others we want to remind you about in case you haven't visited our Sitting Room for awhile.
This is a place for the new mother - a place and time to gain perspective, discover new feelings and express yourself as you and your baby change. Includes: Bless the Child, Things My Mother Would Have Told Me, If She Only Knew, My Favorite Things, Peek-A-Boo, Balancing Act and many more.
Peaceful Baby is a soothing music collection arranged to act as a calming influence on your child. Designed by a team of experts from a broad range of scientific and artistic disciplines, Peaceful Baby's compositions explore melodies, rhythms and tonal ranges most likely to induce tranquility in little listeners.
Slippers for Mom and Booties for Baby
The cutest baby footwear this side of heaven. The beautiful silk keepsake box makes this a perfect gift for baby and mommy.
New Blank Journals and the Traveler's Series
Perfectly sized for taking along on summer traveling days, these designs are richly reproduced on journal covers using embossed textures and metallic inks. Inside, they include 160 cream colored acid free archival pages, memento pouch, ribbon page marker and a magnetic flap closure to keep your own expressions safely concealed.
- rolled into a suede belted case in great colors!
refill pages for your journal to fit every mood
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